Date: October 8, 2003

Welcome and Encouragement
Welcome to Encouraging Words monthly newsletter. This FREE newsletter is designed to encourage you to create a saner, more serene life. Please pass it along to friends you would like to inspire.

Iíve decided to turn the newsletter from a monthly newsletter to every other week and they will probably be shorter. Let me know what you think by e-mailing me at bethd@encouragingcoach.com.

I am urging you to get flu shots. I already had the flu recently and it put me out for over a week. But, I did get lots of reading time in.

October is my birthday month and I always like to do a life evaluation. I wrote an article on doing an evaluation last October. Visit: http://www.encouragingcoach.com/octnews.html if you want to read it.

I encourage you this month to be take time out, take care of your health and to get to know your priorities.

Warmly,
Beth Dargis

When faced with a challenge, look for a way, not a way out.
- David L. Weatherford

In This Issue --
~Welcome and Encouragement
~Self-Care Tips for October
~Relationship Tips for October
~Feature Article: Overload?
~What's New? News, Programs, Web Site Updates
~Resources
~Contact Beth Dargis

Did you take your three actions from last newsletter to move yourself from victim to player?

Feature Article:Overload?

Are you getting overwhelmed, overtired and overloaded? Many times people know they are doing too much, but feel too busy to figure out what they can do about it. Hopping from one stress to another: circumstances, otherís expectations, not enough time, piles of work they feel as if they canít make any changes.

We need to take an hour or two very soon to halt everything. Maybe this Sunday you can carve out a couple hours. If you donít take time to get off the ferris wheel, things will not change. You will be overloaded until you take a look at your life. Here are some questions to ask yourself, plus some creative answers to help you restructure your time.

Your Health
  • Are you taking time to eat? The French take can take 2-3 hours to enjoy a meal. We eat at our desks and in front of the TV. No wonder we eat so much, we donít enjoy or even notice our food when we are eat and running. Do you need to be part of all those groups and attend all those meetings? Do your kids have to be in so many activities? Can you let something go so you can eat a good meal for your health?
  • Do you make sure you get the kids to bed on time, but you live on less than 6 hours of sleep a night? What can you cut out to go to bed on time? Do you really need to watch that much TV or play on the computer that long? Can you start slowing down 1/2 hour before bed so you are more relaxed and can fall asleep faster?
  • Do you exercise? Do you walk on errands or do you have not enough time? Can you do a little yoga before bed? You have to clean the house anyway why not do some aerobic cleaning, cleaning as fast as you can and getting the blood moving. Save time and get a cleaner house.You will feel less overwhelmed if you get the stress out of your system through exercise. You will also have more energy.
  • Do you unwind every evening? Do you have something to look forward to? Anything you really want to do? Make a list of things you would love to do if you had more time. Read, baths, visiting with friends, playing the piano, scrapbooking, playing games with the kids. Now tonight before you even turn on the TV do something fun.
  • Do you make time for music, museums, flowers, journaling, quiet time, a spiritual life? Create a no interruption time once a day to re-center yourself.

Being a Good Steward

  • Is your house decluttered and cared for? Do you shop for recreation wasting time and money? If you donít have time to care for what you have, stop getting more stuff. Less stuff also means you can work less hours. Next time you get the urge to shop for fun, invite a friend over to declutter a closet instead. You might even have fun!
  • Do you have a simple wardrobe or do you waste time everyday sorting through your closet? Take an hour to get rid of things. Have your kids do the dishes tonight while you purge your closet.
  • Do you take courses, read books, or practice your talents? Are you strengthening your strengths or doing more work on your weaknesses?
  • Are you doing what is important to you and the kinds of things you are good at or do you spend much of your time doing what is important to others or things you have no talent for?
  • Are you content with what you have, which is probably more than most of the world or do you constantly yearn for more things? What in your life is missing that you think buying things will fix the problem? Will you feel better after buying another purse or would the time be better spent curling up under the covers and reading?
  • Are you volunteering at places you are passionate about or are you volunteering because someone called you on the phone and you couldnít say no? Is there any way you can get out of it? Where is your heart? Where would you like to be volunteering or serving?

Family and Friends

  • Do you get enough time with friends? Maybe you can invite them over once a month for a spa party. Pamper each other and yourself.
  • Are you caught up on letters and e-mails to friends? Spend less time reading mail from people you donít want a relationship with. This site: http://www.newdream.org/junkmail/ shows you how to get off mailing lists and on the do not call list. Get rid of some of your e-mail lists. Limit your phone conversations with people that drain your energy. By limiting your unimportant mail you make time for important correspondence.
  • Are the people you hang out with people you like, admire, support, get encouragement from, and give you energy?
  • You have to eat lunch anyway, why not make every Wednesday a day to eat lunch with one of your friends?
  • Do you have a regular time to chat on the phone with your parents or sister? Having a set time will get rid of the phone tag scenario.
  • How many things are the kids in? Do you have to drive them to everything? Can they take a bus, go with a friend, walk or bike?
  • Do you make time for your marriage or other important relationships? One of my friends talks about couch time. When the two of you are home from work sit for 10 minutes talking without disturbances. Or you can cook dinner together. Another friend does a 2-minute kiss instead of a quick peck before leaving. Teach the kids that you two love each other and need time alone. A strong marriage helps create a strong family.

Work

  • Do you have time to dream, learn, try new things, plan? Get rid of those projects which donít uphold your vision of what you want your† life to be.
  • Do you work on projects that are important to the big picture or do you spend most of your time on busy work? Every day work on the one project that will pull your career forward the most.
  • Do you have a work routine so things donít fall through the cracks? Do you have a set time to fill in those forms, do the accounting, write the monthly report, etc. Things wonít become an emergency if you do them regularly. Do you do your hardest projects when your mind is the most energetic? Do you save busy work for the time of day you start to drag?
  • Do you have energizing breaks like stretching, short walk, deep breathing, a crossward puzzle fit into your day? Breaks will give you more time, not take it away. If you look at the screen for 10 minutes without comprehending, itís time for a break.†

 

Take Action
1. Take time out to ask yourself questions that will help you create the kind of life you want. Which things do you need to work on this month to improve your life balance and take better care of yourself?
2. Look at your calendar for the coming month.† Get a sheet of paper with three columns: want to do, donít want to do, and neutral.
3. Letís look at the 7th. I have a book fair that I havenít decided whether to volunteer for-I can put that in donít want to do. My sonís band concert and morning Bible study can both go in the want to do column, and cleaning the porch is neutral-I donít mind doing it, but it doesnít thrill me.

4. Now you try it. How many things on your calendar are things you want to do and actions that support your vision?
5. For the things that you are neutral about, can you delegate them to someone else or maybe trade jobs?
6. For the things you donít want to do, put those creative juices to work and come up with a plan to get out of some of them. If you canít get out of them, is there any way you can make them more enjoyable? Or at the least pair the things you donít want to do with something you like to do. Go to the bookstore on the way home from the dentist.† Or before so you have something to read while you are there.

7. Remember you make your life by the choices you make today. Choose wisely.

 

Contact Beth Dargis
I coach stressed-out people looking for peace, balance and purpose. For more information on Encouraging Coach programs, private coaching with Beth, media opportunities, or inviting Beth Dargis to speak to your company or organization, please contact Beth at bethd@encouragingcoach.com Or, visit me at EncouragingCoach.com

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SELF-CARE Tips for October:

Start using a richer moisturizer as the weather cools
Spend every evening doing at least one thing you love, even if itís just 15 minutes
Take a weekend and really work on organizing your space
Say, ďIím afraid that I wonít be able to.Ē to someone this month

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." - Marian Wright Edelman

RELATIONSHIP Ideas for October:
Serve dinner in courses and wait until everyone is done with one course before moving on to the next
Drink hot cider and make caramel apples with your family
Drive to see the fall colors or spring flowers depending on your hemisphere
Shop at a local store instead of a chain store and chat with the clerks

"Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do." -Liz Smith

WHAT'S NEW

GET IT DONE DAY
Join the Get It Done Day the 3rd Tuesday of each month. We will encourage each other in the chat room to get all those tasks we have been procrastinating on--DONE

Next date: Oct 21, 03

FALL CLIENTS
I have spots for two more clients. Is there something you wanted to get done before the end of the year and it never happened? Do you want to create a saner holiday? Has the fall season pumped you up for going after your goals? If you would like a free exploratory session to see if coaching is right for you, e-mail me at dargis@chartermi.net In your request let me know if you prefer e-mail or phone call sessions.

ON THE WEB SITE
The last two 52 tips:

Tiny Change #17: Write out a morning routine that includes personal time, household duties and family

Tiny Change #18: Surprise your significant other with a fun date

Time for the Simplicity E-Course This one month course will help you get out of overload syndrome.

RESOURCES
cover
Ready for Anything is David Allen's newest book. He has found the best ways to be productive with your time. I love this book and read a chapter before each Weekly Review. If you don't know what a weekly review is you need to read his book Getting Things Done, first.

Itís time to get organized! Organization includes far more than having a spotless desktop, paying your bills on time and never being late for a meeting. Organization reaches beyond cleaning up the physical clutter and into the realm of teamwork. Click here to organize your home business today!

Want to Become a Life Coach? Visit FirstFiftyClients.com for free tips on how to get your first fifty clients.

Free articles for your web site or e-zine: Feel free to use these articles on your website and newsletters as long as the footer is included. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this e-letter so long as this copyright notice and full information attributing Beth Dargis is attached.