Date: Sept. 26, 2003

Welcome and Encouragement
Welcome to Encouraging Words monthly newsletter. This FREE newsletter is designed to encourage you in creating a life so authentic and joyful, you radiate. Please pass it along to friends you would like to inspire.

I've enjoyed lots of time recently with friends and family. It feels wonderful to know that I have a support system of lovely friends and am able to be an encouragement to them as well.

The fall weather brought me indoors. I feel like fixing up the house, organizing things, and preparing for the cold ahead. When I get that energy I go for it, because it doesn't happen that often. Most of the time I force myself to clean.

I am trying a new format here. I am doing an HTML format for the first time, so I would appreciate any feedback. If you would rather, you can read it on the web at :

I am also planning on going to a bi-weekly newsletter, so every two weeks. I would love to hear from you.

I encourage you this month to be a player, to sparkle and to take charge of your life.

Beth Dargis

"You know it's up to you. You always have an option, to choose what you wanna do, take control or run and hide. It's OK to take a fall, if you have good intentions. As long as you give it all, you'll feel good inside." --Millencolin."

In This Issue --
~Welcome and Encouragement
~Self-Care Tips for September
~Relationship Tips for September
~Feature Article: Victim or Player?
~What's New? News, Programs, Web Site
~Contact Beth Dargis

Did you work on your barriers to your goals last month?

Feature Article:Victim or Player?

I have been reading a fantastic book called 42 Days to Feeling Great by Bob Phillips. He writes that there are two types of people in this world: those who are controlled by life’s events and circumstances, and those who attempt to control their lives. The first group considers themselves a “victim” of circumstance while the second see themselves as a “player” in the circumstances.

“Victims think the events that occur in their lives are the important issue. Players believe that how that think about and respond to the events is more important than the events themselves.” Victims make excuses and think that circumstances determine their life and mental health. Players make changes and believe attitude determines life and mental health.

Victims: wishful thinking, immediate gratification, ease, withdrawal, lack of goals, powerless, give up easily, low self-esteem, give in to temptation, discouraged, undisciplined, wait for opportunity.

Players:practical thinking, delayed gratification, work, involvement, goal setting, powerful, persistent, healthy self-esteem, resist temptation, enthusiastic, disciplined, create opportunity.

How about you? Are you a player or a victim? Do you use your circumstances to make excuses about why you don’t have the life you want? Do you worry about problems or do you work on solving problems?

Life rewards action, not intention. It doesn’t matter if that you wanted to do something nice for that person, if you don’t actually do it. It doesn’t matter if you wish your health was different, if you don’t work on improving it. It doesn’t matter if you worry and mull over something, if you don’t make any changes.

M. Scott Peck wrote, “Once we truly know that life is difficult—once we truly understand and accept it—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life if difficult no longer matters.”

I have noticed that those who think life should always run smoothly are those that are most miserable. The nature of life is messy, sometimes difficult, sometimes joyful, always changing. The sooner we realize that fact, the sooner we can move onto solving problems or accepting situations, instead of saying, “Why me?”

Take Action

What situation in your life recently has made you fall into victim mode?

Which victim adjectives describe you in relation to this circumstance?

Is this a situation you can change or one that you can’t change?

If you can change it, write down as many solution ideas as possible:

If you can’t change it, what are some steps you can take to reach acceptance and move onto something you can change?

I will take these 3 actions this week to move from victim to player:


Contact Beth Dargis
I coach stressed-out people looking for peace, balance and purpose. For more information on Encouraging Coach programs, private coaching with Beth, media opportunities, or inviting Beth Dargis to speak to your company or organization, please contact Beth at Or, visit me at

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SELF-CARE Tips for September:

Plan to do an exercise you love at least 3 times a week
Think about making positive, healthy choices for you
Turn off the TV at least one night a week
Smooth your heels and elbows with a pumice stone

"Life gives you the choice…either learn to overcome challenges or succumb to them.”-Bill Phillips, Body-For-Life

RELATIONSHIP Ideas for September:

Go to a pumpkin farm or market to pick out the perfect pumpkin with your family
Reminisce through old yearbooks with your partner
Massage each other’s necks
Share some candy corn with a friend

"Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do." -Liz Smith


Join the Get It Done Day the 3rd Tuesday of each month. We will encourage each other in the chat room to get all those tasks we have been procrastinating on--DONE

Next date: Oct 21, 03

I am setting up my fall list of clients. Is there something you wanted to get done before the end of the year and it never happened? Do you want to create a saner holiday? Has the fall season pumped you up for going after your goals? If you would like a free exploratory session to see if coaching is right for you, e-mail me at In your request let me know if you prefer e-mail or phone call sessions.

The last two 52 tips:

Tiny Change #15: Visualize the day you want to have while taking your morning shower

Tiny Change #16: Remember to laugh: rent a comedy, get silly with friends, or read a funny book

It’s time to get organized! Organization includes far more than having a spotless desktop, paying your bills on time and never being late for a meeting. Organization reaches beyond cleaning up the physical clutter and into the realm of teamwork. Click here to organize your home business today!

Want to Become a Life Coach? Visit for free tips on how to get your first fifty clients.

Free articles for your web site or e-zine: Feel free to use these articles on your website and newsletters as long as the footer is included. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy or distribute this e-letter so long as this copyright notice and full information attributing Beth Dargis is attached.

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