Date: Sept. 26, 2003
Welcome and Encouragement
Welcome to Encouraging
Words monthly newsletter. This FREE newsletter is designed
to encourage you in creating a life so authentic and joyful, you
radiate. Please pass it along to friends you would like to inspire.
I've enjoyed lots of time recently with friends
and family. It feels wonderful to know that I have a support system
of lovely friends and am able to be an encouragement to them as
The fall weather brought me indoors. I feel
like fixing up the house, organizing things, and preparing for
the cold ahead. When I get that energy I go for it, because it
doesn't happen that often. Most of the time I force myself to
I am also planning on going to a bi-weekly newsletter, so every
two weeks. I would love to hear from you.
encourage you this month to be a player, to sparkle and to take
charge of your life.
"You know it's up to you. You always have
an option, to choose what you wanna do, take control or run and
hide. It's OK to take a fall, if you have good intentions. As
long as you give it all, you'll feel good inside." --Millencolin."
In This Issue --
~Welcome and Encouragement
~Self-Care Tips for September
~Relationship Tips for September
~Feature Article: Victim or Player?
~What's New? News, Programs, Web Site
~Contact Beth Dargis
Did you work on your barriers to your goals last month?
Article:Victim or Player?
been reading a fantastic book called 42
Days to Feeling Great by Bob Phillips. He writes that
there are two types of people in this world: those who are controlled
by life’s events and circumstances, and those who attempt to control
their lives. The first group considers themselves a “victim” of
circumstance while the second see themselves as a “player” in
“Victims think the events that occur in their lives are the important
issue. Players believe that how that think about and respond to
the events is more important than the events themselves.” Victims
make excuses and think that circumstances determine their life
and mental health. Players make changes and believe attitude determines
life and mental health.
Victims: wishful thinking,
immediate gratification, ease, withdrawal, lack of goals, powerless,
give up easily, low self-esteem, give in to temptation, discouraged,
undisciplined, wait for opportunity.
delayed gratification, work, involvement, goal setting, powerful,
persistent, healthy self-esteem, resist temptation, enthusiastic,
disciplined, create opportunity.
How about you? Are you a player or a victim? Do you use your
circumstances to make excuses about why you don’t have the life
you want? Do you worry about problems or do you work on solving
Life rewards action, not intention. It doesn’t matter
if that you wanted to do something nice for that person, if you
don’t actually do it. It doesn’t matter if you wish your health
was different, if you don’t work on improving it. It doesn’t matter
if you worry and mull over something, if you don’t make any changes.
M. Scott Peck wrote, “Once we truly know that life is difficult—once
we truly understand and accept it—then life is no longer difficult.
Because once it is accepted, the fact that life if difficult no
I have noticed that those who think life should always run smoothly
are those that are most miserable. The nature of life is messy,
sometimes difficult, sometimes joyful, always changing. The sooner
we realize that fact, the sooner we can move onto solving problems
or accepting situations, instead of saying, “Why me?”
What situation in your life recently has made you fall into victim
Which victim adjectives describe you in relation to this circumstance?
Is this a situation you can change or one that you can’t change?
If you can change it, write down as many solution ideas as possible:
If you can’t change it, what are some steps you can take to reach
acceptance and move onto something you can change?
I will take these 3 actions this week to move from victim to
Contact Beth Dargis
I coach stressed-out people looking for peace, balance and purpose.
For more information on Encouraging Coach programs, private coaching
with Beth, media opportunities, or inviting Beth Dargis to speak
to your company or organization, please contact Beth at firstname.lastname@example.org
Or, visit me at EncouragingCoach.com