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"You have taught me to believe in myself and to take things slowly, one step at a time, keep sight of my goals, both short term and long term.

Your coaching style was both nuturing and motivating, you seemed to intuitively know some days what I needed most. Your caring and understanding was so appreciated and it came from the heart."

-Holly C.

I would recommend the Simplicity Course as an easy, practical way to start simplifying one's life. I especially liked the segments on Tolerations, Wardrobe, and Office and Paperwork.

Each day focuses on only one task, which is helpful to people who feel overwhelmed by the complexities of modern life and hardly know where to begin downshifting.

-Joan, New York

Beth has an uncanny way of, "reading between the lines" to see a person's heart. I appreciate how genuine she is.

I have already begun implementing her suggestions, and am dumbstruck at how well they are working. I am feeling so much more secure, and feel I am finally put onto a life path that will bring me joy for many years to come."

-Sue Halpern

I feel more focused and have an objective instead of aimlessly filling up the day.

-Shelli Segura



Date: Sept. 26, 2003

Welcome and Encouragement
Welcome to Encouraging Words monthly newsletter. This FREE newsletter is designed to encourage you in creating a life so authentic and joyful, you radiate. Please pass it along to friends you would like to inspire.

I've enjoyed lots of time recently with friends and family. It feels wonderful to know that I have a support system of lovely friends and am able to be an encouragement to them as well.

The fall weather brought me indoors. I feel like fixing up the house, organizing things, and preparing for the cold ahead. When I get that energy I go for it, because it doesn't happen that often. Most of the time I force myself to clean.

I am also planning on going to a bi-weekly newsletter, so every two weeks. I would love to hear from you.

I encourage you this month to be a player, to sparkle and to take charge of your life.

Beth Dargis

"You know it's up to you. You always have an option, to choose what you wanna do, take control or run and hide. It's OK to take a fall, if you have good intentions. As long as you give it all, you'll feel good inside." --Millencolin."

In This Issue --
~Welcome and Encouragement
~Self-Care Tips for September
~Relationship Tips for September
~Feature Article: Victim or Player?
~What's New? News, Programs, Web Site
~Contact Beth Dargis

Did you work on your barriers to your goals last month?

Feature Article:Victim or Player?

I have been reading a fantastic book called 42 Days to Feeling Great by Bob Phillips. He writes that there are two types of people in this world: those who are controlled by life’s events and circumstances, and those who attempt to control their lives. The first group considers themselves a “victim” of circumstance while the second see themselves as a “player” in the circumstances.

“Victims think the events that occur in their lives are the important issue. Players believe that how that think about and respond to the events is more important than the events themselves.” Victims make excuses and think that circumstances determine their life and mental health. Players make changes and believe attitude determines life and mental health.

Victims: wishful thinking, immediate gratification, ease, withdrawal, lack of goals, powerless, give up easily, low self-esteem, give in to temptation, discouraged, undisciplined, wait for opportunity.

Players:practical thinking, delayed gratification, work, involvement, goal setting, powerful, persistent, healthy self-esteem, resist temptation, enthusiastic, disciplined, create opportunity.

How about you? Are you a player or a victim? Do you use your circumstances to make excuses about why you don’t have the life you want? Do you worry about problems or do you work on solving problems?

Life rewards action, not intention. It doesn’t matter if that you wanted to do something nice for that person, if you don’t actually do it. It doesn’t matter if you wish your health was different, if you don’t work on improving it. It doesn’t matter if you worry and mull over something, if you don’t make any changes.

M. Scott Peck wrote, “Once we truly know that life is difficult—once we truly understand and accept it—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life if difficult no longer matters.”

I have noticed that those who think life should always run smoothly are those that are most miserable. The nature of life is messy, sometimes difficult, sometimes joyful, always changing. The sooner we realize that fact, the sooner we can move onto solving problems or accepting situations, instead of saying, “Why me?”

Take Action

What situation in your life recently has made you fall into victim mode?

Which victim adjectives describe you in relation to this circumstance?

Is this a situation you can change or one that you can’t change?

If you can change it, write down as many solution ideas as possible:

If you can’t change it, what are some steps you can take to reach acceptance and move onto something you can change?

I will take these 3 actions this week to move from victim to player:


Contact Beth Dargis
I coach stressed-out people looking for peace, balance and purpose. For more information on Encouraging Coach programs, private coaching with Beth, media opportunities, or inviting Beth Dargis to speak to your company or organization, please contact Beth at dargis@chartermi.net Or, visit me at EncouragingCoach.com



PO Box 233 Zeeland MI 49464 Beth Dargis