December 2004 Newsletter
Making self-care a priority
Creating a saner, simpler life
Welcome to Encouraging
Words monthly newsletter. You have subscribed because
you want encouragement to create a saner, simpler life. Please
pass it along to friends who could use this tips.
I am happy to introduce the new 2005 Simplicity
Calendar. Every day you can read a simplifying idea to implement.
It also includes planning ideas, so things like your vacation
or Memorial Day weekend don't just pop out at you. You can get
a glimpse at it here: http://www.encouragingcoach.com/programs-simplicity-calendar.htm
"If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult
time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you
give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself. "
~ Barbara De Angelis, relationship expert.
Self-Care a Priority
"The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that
is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It's the
one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle
for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching
sun." ~Napoleon Hill
Do you have the strength to handle all that life gives you? Are
you up to the task of living out your purpose? Are you as positive,
healthy and calm as you can be for your family and friends?
Self-care is not about being selfish. It is about caring for
yourself as you would care for anything else given to you. You
care for your things, your family, your friends, strangers, your
car. You don't want things and relationships breaking down, so
you spend time with maintenance. You make the phone call, you
change the oil, you dust the piano.
You need to take time to care for yourself, because you also
need maintenance to be the best you can be. Everyone benefits
when you make self-care a priority. You treat others with more
kindness, you don't act like a martyr, you are healthier for physical
tasks, and your joy radiates to others.
Don't let the three biggest obstacles: guilt, time and money,
deprive you of your self-care time.
When I am coaching clients, I have found the biggest obstacle
to people's self care is not time or money, but the guilt. People
don't feel worthy of the time or money. They feel guilty for doing
something for themselves when they could be cooking, cleaning,
volunteering, meeting hubby's needs, making money, saving money
and a million other things.
My goal is to get you to look at self-care is a stewardship,
rather than a luxury. You were given this body, mind and soul.
It is up to you to take care of what you have been given.
How different would you behave if you were well-rested and energetic?
How much more could you get done? How much better would your relationships
be if you cut out the martyr routine and responded with love and
joy instead? How would your work improve if you took breaks and
took care of your stress so you could focus? How much better would
your house look if you thought of cleaning as self-care and a
nurturing of yourself through your environment?
Are you seeing that self-care is a necessity, not a luxury?
Now that you know the importance, when are you going to find
the time? If you haven't been taking regular time outs, you may
not even know how you got so busy. So grab some time from the
time wasters like TV or surfing the internet. Get out a notebook
or a journal and start writing. Write about how quiet time feels.
Write about how anxious you are feeling when you are not "doing."
Ask yourself about some of your activities. Why are you doing
them? Are they important to you? Are they the best use of your
time? Decide what to cut out to make more time to take care of
If you can't find time for yourself, then you are doing too much.
It is that simple. You wouldn't expect the car to work at optimum
if you never changed the oil. You wouldn't expect your kids to
go from the time they wake up till the time they went to bed.
You can't expect yourself to be your best without the necessities
for your mind, body and soul.
Taking care of yourself doesn't mean spend lots of money on
yourself. In fact, being financially responsible is part of your
self-care. Taking a walk, reading a library book, or having a
morning prayer time don't cost money. In fact most self-care is
But, you shouldn't be stingy with yourself either. If you constantly
buy gifts for others and never for yourself you might want to
ask yourself why. Try coming up with a few creative ideas for
building a self-care fund for haircuts, massages, classes or little
presents. Maybe you can save the money from couponing, or save
your change every day, or sell some things you want declutter.
Maybe you can barter and trade services.
I have posed the three biggest obstacles to self-care, now it's
time to take care of those obstacles in your own life.
1. Take the self-care
2. Ask yourself what your obstacles to self-care
3. Write about how you would feel and what you would
do if you were taking care of yourself.
4. Find time to do at least one thing each for your
body, mind and soul this week.
5. Start your own self-care fund.
with Christmas jounalling prompts to help you take care of
yourself during this season
Caregivers Don't Take Time For Themselves
Self-improvement Experts Book: An ebook I have enjoyed that
tells about the experts, what they have written, their philosophy
and helpful ideas
Self-Care Tips for December:
Take a few minutes of quiet time every morning
Make sure you have at least one evening a week at
Remember you don't have to do it all
"Self-love, my liege, is not
so vile a sin As self-neglecting." ~William Shakespeare,
Relationship Ideas for December:
Ask what you can bring
Deliver declutterd toys to Goodwill with your kids
Accept your family for who they are and don't expect
them to change
“I define comfort as self-acceptance.
When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves,
we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others. "
I encourage you this month to take some time for yourself,
give lots of hugs and remember the meaning of it all.
The Encouraging Coach
A Note About My Recommendations: I provide links in this newsletter
to products and services I am offering or I have personally
found valuable. I have an affiliate agreement with some of the
products I like. If you are ever disappointed with one of these
recommendations, please let them and me know. If they don't
make it right, I will.
Copyright (c) 2004 Beth Dargis, Zeeland, Michigan. All rights
reserved. Feel free to use these articles on your website and
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